The Daily Deviant: Woman Saves Beached Whale!

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Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Area Woman Rescues Beached Whale With the Power to Take Zero Damage When Holding Breath! (What the news article says)

A Whale Surprisingly washes up on local beach, surprising the beachgoers, the suffering whale causes pro-whale group to rush to the scene to aid the whale back into the ocean. One of the members was reported to have a stupid power and rushed immediately towards the whale holding her breath. It was later reported by her group that this "stuper" heroine had the power to help anything by fighting it in a video game style while holding her breath the whole time. She then proceeded to grip the hurt whale from underneath and finish it off with her signature move "Free Willey". her group claims this isn't the first time performing this move on a whale and she "knew what she was doing". Beachgoers got a show as the whale was vanquished from the shoreline back to the sea: badly injured from the attack but saved from being beached from the shore. On being interview the brave heroine had to say "it's nothing I do whatever attack it takes to free the whale, I know it's tough to be beaten but hey it's tough love." What a truly marvelous stupid power!

This scenario came from Deviantart's stupid power generator about people gaining the opposite of usefull superpowers: 'stupidpowers': seeminglly useless powers used to rescue and do good in the community anyway: and these deeds were to be put in a news article called "The Daily Deviant":

So I decided to do it and went to the stupid power generator and got:

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