The Secret Prize
I loved it, the prize no one wanted of course. I didn’t know why, it existed at first But love hit me like a blow to the jaw Like a true first kiss I saw, The hole inside plagued me no longer It was a goner!!! I saw it now brighter than 300 million suns , And a Good prize yes but not the best one. (But to me it was :) ) **** But they “tragically” did not want the secret prize They flung ignorant shouts (stones!) And then with that I felt so wrong (all alone!) Well
this is a "darker" poetry of mine from long ago and in order to
understand it you will need to understand more of my background of how
it happened. When I was in middle School I was bullied a lot and I was
very shy and scared of the new school I was going to. I went to a rough
Middle School with a lot of mean Kids and I was often singled out for
being shy and picked on a lot, also it was mostly a
"Black"(African-American) school and I was picked out as the "Shy White
Kid" I hated it there, it Sucked, and I wrote this during this oso hard
time it's about how my Shyness(Which actually has a medical tearm: it's
a social disorder called "Selective Mutism"
its actually not being able
to speak because you as deathly shy of people and it very real! trust
me I use to suffer from it it was terrible) actually through several
revelations (mostly from thoughts from my close christian grandmother)
it turned out to help
me in life to follow God (That is the God of the Bible to make myself
clear!) and be more diligent even though the people at school did not
accept it (and I hated it/wanted to be normal), so these were my
original thoughts on it back when I first discovered this might have
been the reason I had this illness: to give glory to and be a servant
of God I don't know if you can tell but its supossed to be sort of
Irony: Its not a good 'gift' but a curse that leds to bullying and
rejection (originally this is how I intended it to be eventhough it
might not sound like it) however years after wrighting this poem I did
eventually come to accept this was one of the reasons God allowed me to
suffer with this for so long anyway: as appart of his master plan. So I was a
little reluctant to post this but hey it was apart of my poetry and I
felt my art gallery would not be compete without it. so why not it
might inspire some!
Date: 2012